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Siyayinqoba Beat It! 2005 Ep. 1 – Disclosure

In this episode of Siyayinqoba Beat It! - the support group discussed the importance of disclosuring one's HIV positive status to people you trust. The team visited Michelle Peers, an HIV positive woman from Wallacedene, who was finding it difficult to tell her aunt about her HIV status. Michelle and Ricardo du Preez, who is a nurse at the clinic where Michelle goes to for her treatment, joined us in studio to discuss her disclosure and how Ricardo supported her through it all.

Jason Wessenaar: Dimachaeri {Venda} [Hello] and welcome to Siyayinqoba Beat It! support group. I am Jason. I'm part of Siyayinqoba, the support group living openly with HIV; each week we get together to talk about issues that affect us, from positive living to sex and sexuality. Siyayinqoba is your guide to better living with HIV. If you're living with HIV, or have a partner, a friend or a family member who's HIV positive, this programme is for you. The fear of stigma makes it difficult for someone living with HIV/AIDS to disclose their status. This also makes it difficult to access healthcare services or to live a positive and a healthy lifestyle. Joining us this week is Michelle Peers from Wallacedene near Cape Town. Michelle is here to share her experiences of disclosure with us. We are also joined by Ricardo du Preez a nurse from Wallacedene clinic. But first, let's join the Siyayinqoba team in Wallacedene and see what happened.r

To disclose or not to disclose

Wallacedene, Western Cape

Michelle Peers: It was on a Tuesday when I went, toe ek gaan vir my kind om my baba te check en goed. Toe't ek bloed getrek. Toe't ek 'n councellor gesien toe weet ek daarvan, HIV. Ek het niemand vertel dat ek HIV positive is nie. Al mense wat ek vertel het is my ma en my man is al mense wat nog geweet het. Toe 'n week daarna het ek na Ricardo toe gekom en vir hom gesê dat ek HIV positive is. {Afrikaans} [when I had my blood tested because I was pregnant. I saw the counsellor and then I knew I had HIV. I didn't tell anyone that I'm HIV positive; only my husband and my mother knew. A week later, I came to Ricardo and told him that I'm HIV positive.]

Ricardo du Preez: Luister, gaan dit goed by die huis? {Afrikaans} [Is everything well at home?]

Michelle Peers: Ja, dankie, baie goed. {Afrikaans} [Yes, very well]

Ricardo du Preez: En met die kind? {Afrikaans} [And how's the baby?]

Michelle Peers: Alright.

Ricardo du Preez (Professional Nurse in Wallacedene): When you're diagnosed with HIV/AIDS then the person you consult with the first time is a healthcare worker and I think that's where you put your trust first.

Michelle Peers: Ek trust hom te veel, ek weet nie hoekom nie. Die eerste dag wat ek hom gesien het toe trust ek hom omdat hy kan nice wees met 'n mens. Dis hoekom; hy was die eerste wat ek kom sê het. Oh, hy't my baie mooi gehelp. Okay baie gestry maar ons het daarem well gegaan. {Afrikaans} [I trust him so much. I don't know why. I trusted him from day one because he's so nice with people. That's why I came to tell him first. He helped me very nicely through the three years. Ok, we argued a lot but we got on very well.]

Ricardo du Preez: Man moenie sê ons het baie gestry nie; ons het baklei. {Afrikaans} [Say we didn't argue, we fought.]

Michelle Peers: Ons het baie gegaan maar hy't my gesond gemaak. Elke siekte wat ek het kom sê ek vir hom. {Afrikaans} [We fought a lot but he made me well. With every sickness I got, I came to tell him about it.]

Ricardo du Preez: Maar dit gaan nie net oor die feit dat ons die mense gesond maak nie. Ons is maar net, hoe kan ek sê tussen-gangers tussen die pasient en haar psige self. Dis hulle self wat hulle gesond maak; ons voorsien net van die medikasie, maar hulle, is nogsteeds op die einde van die dag, hulle self wat hulle gesond maak. Ons sien hulle net agt ure van 'n dag; wat gebeur in die ander ure wat oor is. Dis, soos ek voel, in haar geval, vir die ander 16 ure van die dag wat oor is het sy self verantwoordelikheid geneem. En dit is wat vir haar tot dus ver so positief laat lewe en dat sy nie so diep verval het soos ander pasiente wat 'n mens ken nie. {Afrikaans} [It's not about us making people healthy. We are merely the go-between between the patient and her psyche. They keep themselves healthy. We provide the medication but at the end of the day, they keep themselves healthy. We only see them for eight hours a day. What happens during the rest of the time? As in her case, she took responsibility for the other 16 hours and that's what made her live so positively thus far and kept her from deteriorating like some other patients.]

Michelle Peers: Ek is nie eintlik bang om vir hulle te vertel nie maar mense kan 'n klein ding so groot maak, verstaan. Ek wil baie keer my vriend al gesê het, dan nie, ek gaan nie vir haar sê nie, ek gaan maar vir myself hou. Ek's altyd net so bang dan vertel ek vir haar dan vertel sy sommer vir enige een. Dis hoekom ek nie vir haar vou vertel nie, anderste "Jou AIDS dit" en "Jou AIDS dat". Verstaan jy. {Afrikaans} [I'm not afraid to disclose to them, but here people can make a mountain out of a molehill. I've often wanted to tell my friend but then I decide to keep it to myself. If I tell her my status, she'll tell everybody. That's why I don't want to tell her. Otherwise, it's "your AIDS this" and "your AIDS that."]

Support Group

Jason Wessenaar: Ok, we've just seen Michelle's experiences with disclosure, what are your experiences with disclosure?

Lihle Dlamini: Ufanele u-accept kuqala [You have to first accept] that you are living with HIV. Once you have accepted that you are living with HIV, uphume ufune usizo and ukuze uthole usizo kufanele u-disclose i-status sakho kulabantu ohlangana nabo [you must look for help; in order to get help, you must disclose your status to those people]. Nakhona akusho ukuthi u-disclose kuwo wonke umuntu [It doesn't mean you have to disclose to everyone] at the same time. Qala kancane, kancane [You have to take is bit by bit] just like Michelle did. {isiZulu}

Jason Wessenaar: i-Disclosure iqala ngawe {isiXhosa} [Disclosure starts from within] and saying that I'm HIV positive and knowing how you feel about living with HIV before you speak to the next person. But then the question would be; what are other things you need to be thinking about before you disclose to somebody?

Ricardo Moses: Ja, ek sal ook sê, the environment waarin jy ook bly, of die omstandighede waarin jy is, dit tel ook baie. As ek moet maak example soos ek wat uit die gevangenis uitkom; ek wil selfmoord gepleeg het deur die feit dat ek HIV positief was: "Hoe gaan ek dit aan mense, aan my familie, hoe gaan ek dit vir hulle sê?" En waar ek daar in die gevangenis; ek moes later na 'n ander gevangenis gaan en waar ek met gevangenisse mee gedeel het. 'n Organisasie wat daar is; Group of Hope, en ek het met iemand daar gepraat voor ek nog na die medies staff toe gaan, kon gaan, om te sê: "Maar ek is HIV" en ek het uitgekom met my HIV status binne die gevangenis waar die hele gevangenis my aanwaar het; my HIV positief, waar my gemeenskap of my familie nog geensins geweet het dat ek HIV positief was nie. {Afrikaans} [The environment you live in makes a difference. For example, when I came out of prison, I wanted to commit suicide because I was HIV positive. I didn't know how to tell my family. While I was incarcerated I had to change prisons. Then I informed my fellow prisoners, I joined the organisation, Group of Hope. I spoke to someone in the group before I told the medical staff that I'm HIV positive. I disclosed my HIV status in the prison, the whole prison accepted my HIV status. But my community and family didn't know I was HIV positive.]

Ricardo du Preez: To disclose is not only to satisfy yourself but it's like putting a burden on someone else. And I think that before you disclose, you have made sure that the person you want to disclose to really understands; and it's that you just want to disclose but it's about the other person. What about your husband, your boyfriend, your mother, your child or whoever? And that is the thing that, before you disclose, make sure the person you are going to disclose to can carry that with you.

Jason Wessenaar: I can tell you of my experience when I disclosed to somebody else other than myself for the first time. I spoke to my best friend and obviously their reaction was that I'm dying, they cried and they felt that this is wrong, it shouldn't have happened. But because we have a relationship where we are able to talk about issues beyond HIV and we had spoken about this kind of issue, so it was easy for her to accept and talk about what she feels everyday.

Vuyani Jacobs: Ndiyendane-lucky mna ukuthi mandixelele iwele lam ukuthi ndine-HIV. Ndine-family enintsi, kuye kwathatha ithuba ukuthi lonto mayiphume. Ibalulekile ukuthi uzilungiselele wena, iqale ngawe. Ndiyamva uthini u-nurse, kodwa mayiqale ngawe, subacingela kakhulu abantu. {isiXhosa} [I was lucky enough to disclose to my twin brother that I have HIV. I have a big family and I had to find the right time to disclose. It's important to prepare yourself because it has to start with you. I agree with the nurse that it starts with you and you shouldn't worry about people, you must think of yourself.]

Melinda van Wyngaard: In die blanke gemeenskap word daar nie gepraat oor die HIV en AIDS nie; hy hoor maar 'n bietjie hier, 'n bietjie hier. Net soos seks nie mee openlike gepraat word nie, dis gooters wat ons maar by ons vriende hoor. Jy weet ons het onder 'n miskonsepsie groot geraak. Ek het dit vir my ma en my pa gesê dat ek: "Ek is HIV positief." My ma het van haar trolley afgegaan, my sister het in depressie geval vir twee weke om rede hulle het gedink morê is ek dood. En dit het gekos van ons om al die inligting te kry wat ons basies kon om ons self die kennis op te doen. Om rede ons het niks geweet daarvan nie. En, ek lewe nou al ses jaar saam met HIV, so ek moes gekom het van 'n punt waar ek niks geweet het nie tot waar ek nou is vandag, waar ek in 'n veld is waar ek werk met mense wat HIV positief is; waar ek self 'n beraader is. {Afrikaans} [In the white community, we don't talk about HIV. You hear a little bit here and there. Just like sex is not openly discussed, we hear about it from friends. We grew up with a misconception of sex. And I told my parents that I'm HIV positive. My mother lost her mind and my sister went into depression for two weeks. They thought I was going to die the next day. We had to get all the information we could to educate ourselves because we knew nothing about HIV. I've been living with HIV for six years. I came from a point where I knew nothing about HIV to where I am today; I'm a HIV counsellor.]

Jason Wessenaar: Re bua hape ka disclosure ha re kgutla papatsong. {Sesotho} [We will talk more about disclosure after the break] Don't go away.

Jason Wessenaar: Welcome back to Siyayinqoba Beat It! support group, where we help each other live better with HIV or AIDS.

Melinda van Wyngaard: Ek het altyd gedink ek is die enigste wit mens wat positief is en ek voel dat die wit mense moet meer uitkom met hulle statuse sodat die wit mense kan besef dit is ooral. Dit vra nie kleur nie, dit vra nie raas nie, dit vra nie hoe oud jy is nie; dit gebeur met almal. {Afrikaans} [I always thought I was the only white person who's HIV positive. I feel the white community should be more open with their status, so they can see that HIV is everywhere. It doesn't matter what colour, race or age you are, HIV affects everyone.]

Vuyani Jacobs: You are such a blessing because you try; you look for gold when you look for a heterosexual white person with HIV. You can't find the gold because it's in King Williams Town, it's not here in the Western Cape or elsewhere. So I think you're quite a pioneer on that one.

Jason Wessenaar: If you disclose publicly, that's stressful on its own, it's very difficult. And sometimes you risk people seeing you and saying: "Oh Primrose has AIDS" or you go to the shop and everyone says: "There goes the AIDS guy." You risk things like those, loosing that identity. But when you're disclosing publicly, you're just telling people, how do you then take care of yourself afterwards?

Lihle Dlamini: Lindlela zo-disclose siningi, kukhona abantu [There are many ways of disclosing because there are people] who will keep quiet until the end. Uthole ukuthi umuntu uyaya kwama-support groups, kwi-support group bayayazi ukuthi [You find some people attend support groups and only the support group] knows they are HIV positive but ekhaya akwazi muntu [at home nobody knows]. Manje kunama-rollout ye-ARVs and kwi-rollout kune-criteria esetshenziswayo ukuthi [Now with the rollout of ARVs one of the criteria is that you must have disclosed to] one person ekhaya [at home]. Ukunga-disclose kwakho kuzokwenza ungabi-adherent kwi-medication [If you don't disclose you may not be adherent to your medication]. {isiZulu}

Jason Wessenaar: It's important that somebody finds what works for them in that environment but also to say that gradually. I mean I only disclosed to my family three years after my diagnosis. At the time I felt and I knew that my family was ready, I had prepared them for that and had I done it at the time I was diagnosed, I don't think it would have worked. Because one of the other things that I needed to work on was my relationship with my mother, my relationship with my brothers before I can do that.

Zack Smit: In my case, I had to deal with being gay, I had to deal with being HIV positive, two things. But what I've also noticed is in the gay society, people especially the gay males, they tend to be very accepting if you disclose to them, they are very understanding and they can relate in some respect. They don't frown upon it and it makes it a bit more easier to actually come out to people. After one person accepts it, it makes it a bit more easier for you to then continue and you feel more free to talk about it and I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't.

Vuyani Jacobs: Ek wil sê dat die mense vroeg toets, dat hulle nie kan onnodig siek word nie en as hulle HIV positief toets moet hulle vir hulle self sorg dat hulle nie kan siek raak nie en daai manier kan ons almal 'n goeie lewe lewe. {Afrikaans} [I think people should test early to avoid getting sick unnecessarily. If they test HIV positive they must look after themselves, so they don't get sick. That way we can live a better life.]

Jason Wessenaar: Hlala kulondawo [Stay where you are]. We'll be right back after this break.

Jason Wessenaar: Welcome back to Siyayinqoba Beat It! support group. We're talking about the do's and don'ts of disclosure. Let's see how Michelle gradually became more open about her status and what impact it has had in her life.

Michelle decides to disclose

Wallacedene, Western Cape

Ricardo du Preez: Het jy nou al besluit oor vanmiddag se storie oor wat jy nou wil doen? {Afrikaans} [Have you decided what you want to do this afternoon?]

Michelle Peers: Ek het besluit, ek het klaar besluit; ek gaan dit doen ja. {Afrikaans} [I've decided I'm going to do it.]

Ricardo du Preez: Dat jy vir haar gaan sê wat jou status is? {Afrikaans} [You're going to tell your aunt your status?]

Michelle Peers: Ja, ek gaan vir haar sê da' weet ek dis over en done with. {Afrikaans} [Yes, I'm going to tell my aunt, then I know it's over and done.]

Ricardo du Preez: Maar voel jy jy wil vir haar sê? {Afrikaans} [Do you feel that you want to tell her?]

Michelle Peers: Ja, ek voel so, net vir haar. Ja, sy kan maar staan waar sy wil, verstaan jy. Ek's nie meer geworried nie, die hele wêreld gaan nou in elk geval daarvan weet. So as sy nie so voel nie, dank an sy maar iets daarvan sê. Ek worry nie. {Afrikaans} [Yes, I do, just her. She can say what she wants, I'm not worried because the whole world will know anyway. If she feels like saying something, she can. I'm not worried.]

Ricardo du Preez: Vandag is nie 'n maklike dag in jou lewe nie, dit gaan nie 'n maklike dag wees nie. En vir 'n hele tyd gaan dit nie 'n maklike dag wees nie. So, hanteer maar net al die situasies. As jy voel dat jy dit net nie meer kan doen nie dank an jy kom, vir my kom sê. Jy kan maar inkom en jy weet ek salt yd maak en dan sal ons daaraan werk. Dan sal ons daaraan werk. Nê? Maar ek wil hê jy moet baie seker wees. So jy het nog twee ure voor vanmiddag om te besluit: "Wil ek vir haar sê? Is dit nou die regte tyd om vir haar te sê?" {Afrikaans} [Today won't be an easy day in your life. And for quite a while it won't be easy. So try to cope with these situations. If you feel you can't do it, you can come and tell me. You know I'll make time and we can work on it. We'll work on it. Ok, I want you to be very sure. You still have two hours before this afternoon to decide if you want to tell your aunt and if it's the right time to disclose.]

Michelle Peers: Ek gaan haar sê. {Afrikaans} [I'm going to tell her.]

Ricardo du Preez: Het jy vir haar gesê dat jy vir haar wil sien? {Afrikaans} [Did you tell her you want to see her?]

Michelle Peers: Nee, ek het nie vir haar gesê ek wil haar sien nie. {Afrikaans} [No, I didn't tell her I want to see her.]

Ricardo du Preez: So dink jy die situasie is reg? As jy tevrede is met dit dan gaan ek ook tevrede wees met dit. {Afrikaans} [Do you feel the situation is right? If you're satisfied with it then I'm satisfied with it.]

Michelle Peers: Dis nou my auntie nê. Daar is net baie mense daar binne. Aunty, daar iets vir auntie wil sê: dis hoekom ek nie daar binne wou praat nie. Ek wil vir aunty sê dat ek HIV positive is en aunty is die mense wat na my kyk. Dis hoekom ek vir aunty sê, ek bly by aunty. Gee net die support vir my. {Afrikaans} [This is my aunt. There are just too many people inside. Aunty, I want to tell you something, which is why I didn't want to talk inside. I want to tell you that I'm HIV positive and you are one of the people looking after me. So I want to tell you... Please just support me.]

Aunt: Ek kan niks sê nie meneer, dit is, kyk, dit is 'n siek wat die Here nou toegelaat het oor ons lewe. Al wat jy moet doen is jy moet maar net die een wat dit het, moet jy voor liefde wees. Jy moet hom liefde gee en jy moet hom baie aandag gee. Sien, dis wat ek kan sê. Ek sal haar, ten alle tye sal ek haar bystaan, ek sal haar nie afdruk daarvoor nie. {Afrikaans} [I can't say anything. It's a sickness the Lord has allowed in our lives. All you have to do is love the person who has it. You must give them love and a lot of attention. That's what I can say. I'll stand by her at all times. I won't discriminate against her.]

Michelle Peers: Ek [I] feel better nou dat ek gesê het. Julle het nie geweet nie, nou al vir drie jaar weggesteek. Maar nou voel ek net om te praat. {Afrikaans} [now that I've told my Aunty after hiding it for three years. Now I feel like talking.]

Support Group

Jason Wessenaar: How did you feel seeing yourself doing that and how do you feel now that you've crossed that bridge?

Michelle Peers: Ek het die eerste keer bang gevoel, toe gaan ek, wat gaan ek bang voel en wat. 'n man moet nou maar net praat. Maar ek he took net altyd gedink moet ek nou vir my aunty sê of moet ek nou nie sê nie. Kyk, ag sê maar vir haar; sy is mos 'n kerk vrou, so sy's nie een vir uitpraat nie, so ek kan maar vir haar trust. Ag, na ek haar gesê het voel ek beter. Voel ek heeltemaal beter. {Afrikaans} [At first I was scared. Eventually I thought there is no point to being scared. I decided to talk even though I was worried about whether or not to tell my aunt. She is a church goer so I trusted her. After I told her I felt better, I felt a lot better.]

Jason Wessenaar: But what were you afraid of?

Michelle Peers: Ek was bang vir niks nie net bang vir die gossip, mense life mos so vir gossip en dit; stories en goed, jy weet mos hoe is die mense. Ag, so ek het nie geworry nie. {Afrikaans} [I was scared of the gossip because people like telling stories. After a while I stopped worrying.]

Jason Wessenaar: In your community, do people now know or are they going to find out when they watch the show?

Michelle Peers: Yes, when they see the show. Hulle weet nog nie. {Afrikaans} [They don't know yet.]

Jason Wessenaar: That's important because you are going to have to prepare yourself for that, you're going to have to prepare yourself for public disclosure.

Zack Smit: By coming here, she has disclosed to us as well, something that is confidential to her. So that should also make things a bit more easier for her.

Vuyani Jacobs: When you've already disclosed, you can't take it back which means you have to live with the consequences that comes with it and that you must surround yourself. That's why I think it's important for someone to speak to a person you trust. If it's a healthcare worker, then I think healthcare workers need to be trusted but they need to work for that trust like you did. The second thing is to identify someone within your family that you can speak to. It should not just be your mother or your father but someone you're close to or even a family friend that you're close to so that you can have someone to speak to confidentially until you are ready to open up.

Jason Wessenaar: Is it important to tell your ex partners, for instance before you go national, and why is it important to talk to your ex partners, you disclose to them first before you go national?

Lihle Dlamini: Ja, because Jason I'm on national TV, I went to my ex partner and I told him that I'm HIV positive. Kuze naye abe-prepared ukuthi ngikwi-national television, ahambe ayotesta naye azi ukuthi u-HIV positive or negative. {isiZulu} [So that he can be prepared because I'm on national television and he can go and test to check if he's HIV positive or negative.]

Primrose Mathabatha: What if in cases wena le ex-partner {Sesotho} [What if in cases where you and your ex-patner] the relations have been strained.Ga go easy for wena {Sesotho} [It's not easy] to go back to the ex-partner and tsaka shidi shidi shidi {Sepedi} [explain the situation.]

Jason Wessenaar: I have seen a number of people who have disclosed publicly and they have not told their partners. And it's been very hard on the people because they don't know what their status is.

Vuyani Jacobs: I have HIV and I made the decision that I'm going to have sexual relationship and I'm going to use a condom. And I'm not going to put my condom on in the dark, it's going to be clear that I put out the condom and I put it on there. If we engage in any sexual acts that I think you might be at risk on, I will tell you that don't do that. I'm always conscience in whatever situation because I will never again give any other person HIV. I once gave a person HIV and I'll never do that again and for me, that's a decision which means that we engage in sexual relationships that are protected. We no longer call each other, fine, it was at night, I don't need to tell you. You need to practise safe sex wherever you are. And if you go on other night exhibitions or without condoms and you catch HIV, don't label it Vuyani Jacobs.

Jason Wessenaar: Is it important to disclose to your children and at what age do you do it and how do you do it?

Melinda van Wyngaard: My seuntjie is drie jaar oud, hy weet sy mammie is HIV positief. Ek kan nog nie, jy weet, vir hom in die hele kompleks vir hom alles vertel nie. Maar hy weet dat bloed is gewaarlik. Hy wee thy moet sy mamma gaan roep of 'n groet mens gaan roep as daar bloed betrokke is. Ek wat dit bietjie op 'n bietjie omdat die oudersdom groepe verskil en hoe ouer hulle raak hoe meer kan jy vir hulle vertel. {Afrikaans} [My son is three years old and he knows his mother is HIV positive. I can't explain the whole concept to him yet but he knows that blood is dangerous. He knows he must call me or another adult if he's exposed to blood. I'm taking it step by step because the older he gets, the more I can explain.]

Ricardo Moses: To disclose to your kids is one of the best things you can do because you can get support from them. Soos ek kan sê, ons het, my vrou het disclose en die situasie, 'n elf jarige seun van ons. Hy het geweet dat my vrou HIV positief is, hy het haar gesien in die toestaand sy was wat sy, met 'n lae CD4 count. {Afrikaans} [My wife disclosed to my 11 year old son; he knew she was HIV positive. He saw the state she was in when her CD4 cell count was very low.

Primrose Mathabatha: ngwana wa mo prepare and o qala ka go mofa di basics understanding tsa di dynamics tsa go phela le HIV/AIDS.Wa tseba ngwana o kase nore kera hore ke dumeletsana le Melinda, o ka se nore mo ho ene ware ngwanaka ke HIV positive.O prepare ngwana gradually to a stage mo eleng hore ngwana o tlabe a understanda issues and can say {Sesotho} [As a parent you have [to prepare your child and give them the basic understanding of the dynamics of living with HIV. With children, I agree with Melinda that you can't just say to them I'm HIV positive. You have to prepare the child gradually so that they can understand issues so they can say:] "My mother lives with HIV and she's not going to die and this is who she is."

Jason Wessenaar: If your child was HIV positive, would you tell that child and what age would you tell that child?

Melinda van Wyngaard: 'n Kind se brein is nie so ontwikkel soos 'n groot mens sin nie; dit is 'n stap vir stap wat jy gaan moet vat. Ek dink jou kind het die reg om te weet. Om rede as jou kind siek raak moet hy weet hoekom raak hy siek. Omrede kinders raak vinniger siek as groot mense, hulle kry meer oportunistiese infeksies en as jou kind nie gaan weet nie en weet hoe hy na himself moet kyk nie en hoekom hy na homself moet kyk nie hoekom gaan hy na homself kyk. {Afrikaans} [A child's brain is not as developed as an adult's. So you'll have to take it step by step. I think a child has a right to know because if your child gets ill he must know why he's ill. Children get sick faster than adults and they get more opportunistic infections. If a child doesn't know how to look after himself or why he should look after himself, why would he?

Jason Wessenaar: There is no right way to disclose or no magic formula, you have to do what is right for you, when it is right for you. Find someone you can trust to help you with your issues, your counsellor or your nurse at the clinic should be able to help. You can also contact organisations in your community to help. We hope that you've enjoyed the show and are feeling the Siyayinqoba spirit that together we can beat it. Join us again next week in the Siyayinqoba Beat It! support group. Till then stay healthy and remember we can beat HIV.

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