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2008 SERIES

EPISODE 5 - Sero-discordant couples

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We are both positive ... about life

Relationships are intricate things. Fraught with possible stresses and complexities. Add to the mix HIV and there is what some people may see as a near-impossible situation. But that doesn't have to be the case. With honesty, trust and respect a sero-discordant relationship can be even healthier than your average relationship!

The fifth Episode of Siyayinqoba Beat It! discusses sero-discordant couples: where one partner is HIV negative and the other is HIV positive.

This episode deals with the misconception that people cannot be in a happy and healthy relationship if the one partner is HIV negative and the other is HIV positive; and throughout episode five we meet couples who have learnt to love with the disease.

In the first insert we meet Thabisile and James. Thabisile was diagnosed in 1999 and immediately joined the Treatment Action Campaign (TAC). That’s where she met James, who knew from their very first meeting that she was HIV positive.

They don’t feel pressured to live their lives according to other people’s expectation and, defying convention, they are even planning on having a baby when they are ready! The fact is raised that as long as a couple is aware of each other’s statuses right from the start, they will be able to have an open, honest relationship. It’s a touching insert showing how two people can come to rely on each other despite their differences, which is a message of hope for everyone in South Africa.

Read more about Thabsile and James.

There is then a discussion around the issue of using condoms every time the couple has sex; and the subsequent perceived lack of “manliness” that some men feel when forced to use them. This leads to a conversation about how condom use often isn’t part of a man’s culture, but the fact remains that condoms are the ONLY way to protect yourself and your partner.

Read about safer sex and a sero-discordant couple

In the final segment we witness the incredible wedding between HIV Positive Zackie Achmat and his HIV negative partner, Dalli Weyers. In this uplifting episode we realise that as long as there is love and trust between two people, anything can be overcome.

Download the interview with Zackie and Dalli here.

IT'S A FACT

Dalli and Zackie's Wedding Ceremony

Zackie Achmat and Dalli Weyers

Sero-discordant relationships can work

 

 

 It is estimated that the risk of HIV transmission from heterosexual intercourse is 1.7 per thousand; roughly once in every 500 times. This should not lull us into a false sense of security because there are many other factors which increase the risk and rate of infection.
The likelihood of infection is greatly influenced by viral load: the larger the number of copies of the virus per cubic millilitre of blood, the more likely infection is to occur.
The presence of genital ulcers, in either partner, will greatly increase the chance of infection.
Anal sex carries a much greater risk of HIV transmission; while oral sex in all varieties carries a very low or even theoretical risk of HIV transmission, though it is advised to avoid semen in the mouth if possible.
Researchers believe that most infections occur during the first few weeks of a new infection, when the infected person may be unaware of the infection, but has a very high viral load, making them very infectious to those they have sex with.
About six weeks after infection the body's immune system kicks in and brings down the viral load, reducing the likelihood of infection.
The virus is carried in semen and vaginal fluids. It does not usually affect the sperm or egg. It is therefore possible for people living with HIV to have a healthy HIV negative child.
Saliva, sweat and tears naturally have a very low concentration of HIV; for this reason these fluids are not infectious.
This makes it quite safe for sero-discordant couples (that is a couple with one HIV positive person and an HIV negative partner) to live and love together.
If someone is on antiretrovirals and has an undetectable viral load, which is defined as less than 50 copies per cubic millilitre of blood, their semen or vaginal fluids will also be less infectious.
This has allowed some sero-discordant couples to conceive naturally with minimum risk of infection to the other partner.
Sperm washing, which separates the sperm from the HIV infected seminal fluid prior to insemination, is an option, although it is not available in the public sector.
Regular testing is highly recommended, as most couples don't know each other's HIV status.